Stop Being a Victim of Emotional & Physical Abuse

Stop Being a Victim of Emotional & Physical Abuse

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Love is a great feeling while it last. Knowing the right time to get out when it goes stale is the challenge.
I remember a neighbor who took her own life recently because she was in an unhappy relationship. I have seen people close to me give such threats for the same reason. I have even watched them lock themselves in and cut themselves to feel better. You must know some people too, or maybe you are in one such relationship.

But, I would like you to ponder on this today-
Psalm 139:14 – I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.
You were created to be happy, why would you make yourself more miserable, cut yourself and take your life?
By doing this, you are only letting the b****** win! The fact is when you still naively keep sticking onto an already broken relationship, you become the cause of your own misery. So Sprint! Sprint before it’s too late. Pick them (/yourself) out of that fool’s play before it breaks them (/you) beyond repair.
Abusive relationship: escape
Courtesy: Deviantart- escape_by_sugarock99-d3c4xst
 An abuser can seem emotionally needy.
You can get caught in a trap of catering to him, trying to fill a bottomless pit. But he’s not so much needy as entitled, so no matter how much you give him, it will never be enough.
He will just keep coming up with more demands because he believes his needs are your responsibility until you feel drained down to nothing.
~Lundy Bancroft, 
Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.

When we are in love, sometimes, we become delusional. Maybe we begin to think, ‘It’s just what lovers do. After all, it’s not physical assault!

No! Wake up!

If you are met with emotional abuse, you are in a more grave situation. The scars of emotional abuse are real and long lasting. Do you know that emotional abuse leads to depression, anxiety and suicides? So you know, it’s not all about the bruises, the scream, it’s so much more than that. (Read the different types of emotional abuse here).

I agree, it takes a lot of courage to get out of an abusive relationship. But today, I want you to consider a new start by sharing you a story of one strong woman who decided against all odds to get away from her abusive husband after 3 long years of mental and physical torture. Today, she is one of the happiest person I know, someone who made the wisest decision women in her state never could.

She was just 21 when she was first abused in the name of love. Kicked and pushed down a high rise building staircase, it was just the tip of the iceberg. But for love, forgiveness flooded her heart and emotions. It was a relationship that was never intended to happen, but as always, cupid had other plans.

A good one year later, they had a baby together. What she got out of the relationship was a drunk father who would abuse the mother in front of their baby.  Alcohol can do wonders to men with so little decency.

Can you imagine? She kept holding on to the belief that it was love. After her belief on love crumbled, she hung on to the belief that he could change for the better. (Just like how he begged, he would, every time she decided to leave him). Everyone could see how naïve a belief it was, but she still clung onto it for the sake of her child.

I remember being angry just being told about her abusive relationship. Waiting for her to get out of it was torturous. (What is alarming is that a scary figure of 70% of women in India still faces Domestic abuse!)

There is no doubt that getting out of an abusive relation gets harder when you have a baby. The mother is always in dilemma thinking if she leaves, the baby will grow up without a father figure. She throbs about the cynical whispers from the society. But if she doesn’t leave, she will have to live in constant fear where she will not be able to guarantee the safety of her baby.

Well, she finally decided to walk out. She called it quits, picked up her baby, walked out of the door and never looked back.

How many of us can really do that? I have seen people coming from broken families, with an abusive father. The psychological effect it has on them is massive. They become a fragile being, spiralling into a series of failed relationships or harbouring the fear to never get into one ever. I wish their mother walked out and saved her kids these miseries.

My emphasis on women in this narration shouldn’t mean that men do not suffer from this crime. They do too.

My point being, I do not think God created a shit ass for you to end up with! You just got stuck with the wrong person. Give yourself a second chance (not the abuser) and get a better one. You are definitely not the missing rib of this beast!

The woman I know walked out, gave herself a second chance, and has gotten rid of her nightmares. You shouldn’t wait as long as she did. If it is not a healthy relationship, it is always better to pick yourself up and leave.

To whosoever is in an abusive relationship, I hope you will find the strength to walk away. You deserve better.

I want to leave you with this beautiful piece from Outlinetheoceans, an amazing writer I follow on Instagram-

https://instagram.com/p/7iDFo-MlP7/?taken-by=outlinedoceans

 

P. S: I read that by late 2015, UK intends to jail the controlling (coercive) partner causing psychological abuse for 5-14 frigging years! I hope India takes the cue too! I also found some interesting reads while browsing from Indiatogether.org on Laws against domestic violence and abuse. Another research paper on Crime against women in India you can read if you have the time.

2 thoughts on “Stop Being a Victim of Emotional & Physical Abuse

  1. Dear, I appreciate for what you’re doing here. You are encouraging many man and women, especially women to stand up for their rights. Women have been subjugated to domestic violence since time immemorial. One day I hope to see a better world , better environment for women and children. Keep writing and keep inspiring.

    1. Thank you Chanvo. I can only write and hope women learn to be more decisive.

      This is to better future, free from emotional and physical abuse from partners. Thanks again Chan.

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